I recently managed to stumble across an ABC article and blog where the subject of disabilities and special education schools was quite well discussed in a forum. Although it may come as a surprise I myself have sustained several injuries in life, as Fukishima said misfortune is due to negligence or ignorance. One of the challenges I faced was being heard in relation to some ideas I had around education and also matters relating to privacy and drug and alcohol.
For me my illness was a silent illness that went through a Marist Education perhaps even University undetected. For me whilst I went to Australian schools in NSW, which are of a high standard, certain aspects of my privelaged education was overlooked. Say chemistry for instance, at school we were taught about nuclear and atomic bonding and in some respects overlooked the importance of all of this, coupled with intensive physical demands and in some cases after contracting the common cold or influenza and being "absent" from school, I was very lucky to perform well in sport and education alike, perhaps in the years 11 to 12, a great deal was happening with sport as well as the pressure to perform and gain good grades. I recall hearing recently that often when children perform well at school this may indicate problems the family unit face in relation to accomodation, food and job security, something as a young adult I understood and realised my education was necessary to ensure some hope for myself.
Unfortunately after premature relationships and fights I realised that education includes physical education and that perhaps sports you walk away from are not happy with your lack of a lifetime commitment.
When I was little my father was a soccer coach and referee, he coached me in the skills of soccer and I was quite good at one stage. However as the pressure increased unfortunately my achilles tendon went and I had to divorce the sport or at least make a kick about now and then rather than pro. I needed to try something different so I tried Tennis, Swimming, Squash and Cricket, falling short of the Marist view of passing PE meant playing Union or League.
I initially after coming out of school managed to study and study and study. Mathematics and many other things were available and in some ways the school provided a disciplined environment with art, drama and technical where to excel was more of a personal best, rather than being the best.
When I went to university I had managed to contract a serious bone marrow disorder and then later had several accidents, including spinal and brain injuries. I managed despite being in emotional and physical pain, tolerate the unforgiving climate and nature of humanity in Sydney, having walked many miles and around Australia, base jumping and 4wding, climbing I managed to fulfill my barely noticeable dream, of course in my life memories and dreams became hard to distinguish, by the time I was ready to work for a large company in IT it was hard to explain to anybody what was going on personally, it was a case that I sensed my errors and adjustments took place. The thrill of life was at times horrible and like a nightmare.
It took many teachers and counsellors to assist me and for them I am thankful for, the idea that you go inward is not really done much these days. I decided that my life was really pointless and that despite being technically correct with work and accounts my personal life and health was deteriorating. Some days I was so depressed I wanted to sleep all day and was trying to forget what happened the day before. History and lifestyle was important but after some persistence I decided that I needed a better understanding of chemistry, biology and other faculties to on a shoe string budget, complete the job, or research solutions for the state of affairs.
Despite being mentally ill and having stuffed up from time to time, the real question came along, what must I do to survive? Having made some poor decisions and having been in several accidents I was supported well in this system with particular thanks to my family and all their efforts to invite me to lunch and pay for a meal and give me clothes. The staff at Wyong and Manly Hospitals are of a good standard, perhaps stressed and overworked.
I had walked around Australia and noticed changes when I left Sydney almost like the Truman Show, I had no idea how my actions and situation would cause a chain reaction all throughout Canberra. I also had no idea how many dangerous situations or climbs or drop the hammer situations would come along.
So therefore despite being ill I found that with the correct treatment and self healing I could combat and fight the very forces that were behind the treachery I had seen meeting people from all around the world, I learnt that looks can be deceiving and that many other people had problems more severe and emotional than mine, for instance Cerebral Palsy, Insanity, Psychopathology, Aspergers, Autism, Bipolar, Schizophrenia and Schizo-affected Epilepsy, Glaucoma, Cancer, Obesity, Anorexia, Bulimia, Anemic people and the list goes on. This I had to listen more than talk over, but in some respects I tried to be a patient listener.
Whilst health and sicknesses became more prevalent the technology and money seemed to increase, for my own words came along, "What a tangled web we weave when we first set off to deceive." In some ways I had to confront my own prejudice regarding the mentally ill and the differences at large which was by logic directed at myself and of course the elimination of stupidity from a very immature mind. With wisdom came painfully and the betrayal of life and nature unfortunately went ahead, hearing words to the effect that Judgement Day is approaching and the signs of the degeneration was gay marriage.
Having the luck of one friend at a point in time is like a "Friend in hand", you are able to learn things from other people's perspective, unfortunately I didn't realise that I should only believe half of what I hear and that also security and self defence was a key element of which I had allowed to grow tepid. Later I learnt Tai Chi and Reiki as well as Yoga at various places and owe my mentors a great deal of gratitude. Not using force became a key part of reducing things to their simplest form and actually weathering the storm of human beings and the anger and hatred. I had to attempt to turn sadness into happiness etc and may have failed, but I did try and learnt something from the experiment.
I am sure if I could turn back time I would change some things however I would always remember the watch being wound back, in some ways I realised the trinity of my body and the secret chambers of my heart. I realised that I had overlooked a great deal of knowledge and suggestions, and hesitated, perhaps because I had doubts...
Most days I remain calm and simple, I have a good exercise program and am perhaps now addicted to exercise and self defence more than anything else. Being single helps a little because it allows education to return. This returning is like going on a hike getting lost and having to turn back and come back the way you came. This year is the international year of Chemistry as stated in Deal or No Deal on Channel 7. I imagine this was just a coincidence that I found a chemistry book and decided to learn about Acids and Bases and Equilibrium and try to explain all the things that are around me. This was not enough, I still needed to keep fit, watch my diet and make weight. Unfortunately I was never a very good fighter or reader of people's faces, auras etc and in some ways I seemed to have an opinion about weaponry for instance, some say Why have a weapon when you don't use it? The answer by induction is a weapon can cause the destruction of earth, hence we don't use it. Then others would say we have a new perspective on life and the universe based on Quantum Effect, and adding some element of missing objects and probability in the atom, my feeling is Quantum Physics, by adding possibilites rather than certainties made a fool of itself and only proves that in 1945 the bomb, and all nuclear accidents have started that chain reaction here on earth we still feel, at a micro and macro level, human beings on this earth are radioactive in my opinion, splitting apart just like Atoms and molecules. My belief is that Cold Fusion or Fusion in itself produces more energy, however if affected by fission human beings see the environment or earth as being extensions of themselves.
I would like to thank Discovery channel, Mythbusters, Man vs Wild, Disney and many other programs that have made my education and rehabilitation a important factor in moving forward. I also would like to personally thank Sally from Leura retreat centre. I would also like to pay my respects to Bill and Patricia who passed away in the last 7 years. I would have attended the funeral if my accommodation was more secure. I also want to thank my mother Chris for helping me get my accommodation and hygiene standard up and all her gardening and health advice and for the coffee. I again thank my doctors for all the mistakes in my genetic history and consequential management. I would also like to thank Annie for her invitations to her Hub and Vibes as well as the many individuals I met walking throughout life, most of whom do not warrant exact naming(another time).
I found out after a while that all I need to do is exercise, drink H2O and beer when I think and realise the harsh reality of business and marketing, after attending the Newtown Writers festival I had met Vampires etc and things became rather odd after that. I understand that the world is a strange place and even say water exploration and scuba diving are the astronauts of today and the future, discovering new types of life, DNA and amazing things which I can only watch and admire.
To all my ex work colleagues and employers I thank them for assisting me and collaborating on successful projects and tasks and "treading water", in the journey across the sea of survival in the 2001 Space Odyssey.